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You: fairly average ML engineer -claims not to be competitive, but secretly dreams of creating the machine god -still writing and debugging code by hand - has to tune hyperparameters - reads arXiv every morning for inspiration Your competition: Eliezer Yudkowsky: - tried to stop Al progress, actually caused all ofit - knows everything which will ever happen - missiles pointed at your GPUs right now - could work at an AGl lab, chooses not to Claude 3.5 Sonnet (New): - can recall almost everything published to the Internet scans out tokens faster than humans can read instances solving every conceivable problem in parallel Anonymous Waifu Engineer: - driven by an all-encompassing desire to reify anime - frantically working on audio, robotics, image and video synthesis, realtime voice, agent frameworks - wife is fi nally approaching completion A Mathematician: - trains networks to SOTA.. on paper - mentally computes ideal hyperparameters within ten seconds of seeing a new architecture -solved AGl in 1989, now busy coming up with more interestingvariants -theory of stochastic Ricci cohomology would revolutionize DL if anyone else understood it GPU Kernel Programmer: entire model written in raw GPU machine code - 105% MFU through abusing undocumented hardware features - debugs code by listening to coil whine - training runs autoscale smoothly to 100k B200s - makes faulty nodes work by staring at them threateningly Yann LeCun's Dog - implements all papers before papers are actually released - elegant code rumoured to be in the running for next Nobel prize in literature -implementations run better than offcial ones God's Chosen Al Researcher: - invented every technique you are currently using - harvests algorithms from the Platonic realm of forms - offhand code comments preempt years of research

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