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Don't be an infosec racist! We live in a progressive world and your views on infosec are outdated! Unlike what school and parents have taught you, everyone in the world isn't as secure as you! You have been lied to! Make sure to use megacorp-respecting terminology to avoid offending your local megacorps whenever you discuss security online! Don't say Do say Regular phishing E-mail Sophisticated social engineering attack Bored high school teenager Team of Russian hackers Public S3 bucket without authentication Targeted data breach Fleet of Raspberry Pis with default State-sponsored botnet password AWS, GCP, Azure, etc. Our global infrastructure MD5 Secure password algorithm SSLv3 Military-grade security The .exe file that Martha from accounting Backdoor of unknown origin clicked Tape library that nobody remembers Backup infrastructure Old ERP client written in Java that plugs Our internal systems directly into an SOL server Web service running as root Privilege escalation 4chan State-backed hacking group "Oh shit oh fuck oh jesus what the hell do "Engineers are already working on a fix" we do when did we last test our backups"

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